the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
I ishhh haha are u coming nack easyer?
the fact that I know you're asking me if I'm coming home for easter makes me believe I speak fluent vodka.
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
one renamed every person in my phone 'I lpvw tewqils', so it would really help me out if you could text me your name. Happy sunday!
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
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