He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
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