Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
so i was sitting on this guys lap, and we were flirting and everything right..well his phone kept ringing, turns out it was his pregnant wife...she had gone into labor..
Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
He stopped replying so I told him I got tested and it came back positive for chlamydia to see if he replied. His phone magically works again!
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
They kept freaking out that you were missing and potentially having sex.. like it was a bad thing. Got fed up with hearing it so i just yelled "ITS HER BIRTHDAY AND SHE CAN FUCK IF SHE WANTS TO!" They gave me unnecessary looks. I thought it was acceptable.
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
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