just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
THE MIME IS MIMING TO BUST A MOVE KARAOKE. ALL MIME-RELATED EVENTS DESERVE CAPS LOCK
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
Randomize
