i'm at a stripclub and this bitch just lit her nipples on fire!
stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
P.S. I can't hear my feet
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
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