i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
By "met a doctor" I really mean "fucked a pre med student"
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Chick in the reindeer getup puked on Baby Jesus last night. But then she bought us all empanadas so she's cool.
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
Just dropped the most perfectly rolled joint into the toilet I just finished taking a shit in, hadn't even had time to flush, 5 second rule?
No!
He updated Facebook... "Got a new phone today." WHAT ABOUT THE FUCKING KID YOU HAD?!
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