If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
Why did you video tape me drying my boxers in the microwave?
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
Apparently "I have the beer shits" isn't the excuse my boss wanted to hear. So sue me
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
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