Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
My Adderall prescription says to take my recommended dose and throw away any leftover pills. Why don't more prescriptions come with jokes like this?
She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
Do you ever look at someone's Snapchat story and think ‘you told me you would eat my ass’?
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
Randomize
