So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
Officially conquered sex on my couch with my dad asleep in the next room
I like how you say "conquered" as if that was your sole mission in life
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
We were having margaritas and I was saying "back when I was drinking..." They looked all confused. Then I realized "holy shit they think THIS is drinking?"
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
As a BFF it is your duty to answer when I drunk call you at 3 in the morning because I couldn't find a knife to cut that cake. I finally found one, fell asleep with it and the cake in bed. K thanks bye.
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
Randomize
