Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
Someone said we're out of ice. You collapsed on the spot and started sobbing, saying 'but where will all the polar bears live". That drunk.
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
I swear the toilet was so cold I tried to stand up but my balls wer frozen to it. most awkward five minutes between me and my mom.
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
OMG I DIDNT READ THAT TEXT CAREFULLY CAUSE I'M ON THE DEVILS LETTUCE & I THREATENED TO PUNCH A CHILD OMG I'M SO SORRY
Remember that pair of super cute shorts I pooped in? I miss those 😔
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
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