How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
I just opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a tube of mascara. Get on my level
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
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