just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
can u get pink eye on your cock?
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
fun fact of the day: the man setting up my checking account at my bank has thrown up on my front lawn.
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
Randomize
