i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
I have a meeting at work in an hour, I'm so hungover going outside is NOT happening there are roads and shit I'll totally get myself killed.
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
Randomize
