Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
How do you tell if you're on the terrorist watch list?
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
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