apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
So baked. Thought the twigs on the sidewalk were caterpillars with the ability to harden in self defense. Had to pick one up to be sure.
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.
I can't handle dick pics with conversational captions
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
Randomize
