Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
If I make it through this whole bridesmaid process without anyone knowing that I actually hate everyone but the bride, including the groom, I deserve a complimentary bottle of vodka.
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
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