I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
No, I'm in the bathroom trying to scrub off the 16 tally marks on my wrist so its not so obviously to the world that I puked on a couch last night.
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
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