Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
Just convinced airport security that im sober. All i do is win.
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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