guess who was drunk and crawling in the middle of the road and got brought home by the police last night? HINT: ME
who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
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Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
I'm on my "fiiiiirrrst" glass of wine- the quotes mean it's the last of the bottle- so I really need you to pick up your phone so we can talk about this
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
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You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
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