Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
I was at circle k buying gas and this girl in a papa johns uniform comes up and is like " I've got a bunch of extra pizzas. Large peperoni for $5." then she went to her trunk and pulled one out. It felt like a drug deal for a fat person
I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
I'm at work. It's margarita night. Someone literally just shouted "MURICUH!"
God bless us, everyone.
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
Turns out the owner of the bar that I fucked used to be on Boy Meets World, but now he's old and bald. So there's that..
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
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