Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
Fuck appropriateness.
i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
I love that your last three texts to me were "Drunk." "Getting laid." "In the hospital."
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
Randomize
