Another night of drunkeness. Maybe I shouldn't have played death pong...
Didn't you just get a DUI last week?
Indeed I did but death didn't stop Jesus now did it
I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
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The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
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He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
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