your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
Why did I wake up this morning with 10 tally marks on my hand and a penis drawn on my tits?
I threw up under water while wearing a hockey helmet last night. Awesome.
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
Woke up to a bottle of gatorade and a packet of saltine crackers tied to underwear hanging from my ceiling fan, along with 3 advil stuck to a piece of duct tape and a note saying "have a happy hangover- <3 you/me"
Drunk you is pretty stunner.
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
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