i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
I keep getting texted pictures of my husband with other men. I can't figure out if he wants a divorce or a threesome?
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We are two peas in an std pod
He just asked for the blowjob I promised him 3 years ago that he'd get the next time Michigan beat Ohio State. Goddamnit.
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
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