Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
My shoe was in my mailbox this morning. I can't stay sober today.
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
Stop it with the monkey emojis. It's like sexting with Curious George
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
Randomize
