9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
Is it penis luge time yet?
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
I feel like there's no sexy way to pull 12 condoms out of your bra.
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
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