U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
You attract beautiful men with jobs. I attract ONE WITH A SOUL PATCH.
it was a sexy soul patch.
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
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