More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
i may or may not be watching the land before time
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
Edward fifth and chaser hands
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
I just woke up in bed, rolled over, and found a whole pizza.
this is the second day in a row.
Oh. Yeah. It's the same pizza then.
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
Randomize
