its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
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I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
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I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
How to not get laid: tell him he reminds you of your brother. While having sex. Thanks, vodka.
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
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