even my farts smell like vagina
I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
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