literally had 100 drinks last night.
i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
I just made the pizza guy say helicopter six times in order to get his money. Even he knows how stoned we are.
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
He tried to throw up into a beer bottle. It was a complete disaster. Vomit went everywhere. It put the Bellagio's fountain to shame.
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
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