she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
Ok...drunk girls at the bar are charging $1 for motorboating. It's fucking WEDNESDAY. I never want to leave.
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
