So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
The cab driver was nice enough to let you finish your beer in the car, but you crossed the line when you started to pee in the empty bottle
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
I just don't fit in here. The other wives are ten years older and have kids!
Well, you chose trophy wife of a 35 year old over college. Sit in your suburban soup and stew.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
third nipple confirmed
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
Randomize