in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?"
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
I woke up with my face covered in mustard. Your mom said I ate hotdogs like a pornstar
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
Randomize
