don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up with flowers, a tiara & pasta salad in my bed. Tequila makes me act like a fat Disney princess
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
As I'm trying to leave her house she shushes me and puts my hand on her boob, then goes back to sleep. In like 30seconds. What the fuck.
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
How do I send someone an apology text for giving them a lap dance in the middle of a party last night?
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
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