it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
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the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
Dude, so the police showed up at my house with my wallet told me they found it in the church fountain then handed me a pamphlet on AA saying it was from the pastor. What happend?
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
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