If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
She said she wants to move in with me. Time to black out and act as if we never had this conversation.
How are you a firefighter? People actually trust you with their lives??
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
I hate you so much right now. You got us kicked out of my favorite bar because your drunk ass was hogging the Bluetooth jukebox and would play NOTHING but that goddamn skeleton song. IT'S NOT EVEN OCTOBER YET.
Spopky scrzy skeletonssz
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
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