I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
she woke me up with a blowjob, mickey mouse pancakes, a mugshot of my ex in county jail, and tequilla. Do you know if she fucked someone behind my back or did i win the vagina lottery?
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
Randomize
