is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
she takes plan B like it's going out of style
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
You know when its a good night when you have to be reminded IHOP is a family establishment.
You got my ass fired just for knowing you
thanks for the bacon
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
I don't get it. If he broke into Taco Bell at 2 am, then why couldn't he have brought me home a fucking taco???
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
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