You know the commpass Jack Sparrow has? The one that just points at whatever you want? Thas pretty much my moral compass.
its not stalking. its research.
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
I'm promoting my liver to CEO of my body cause it clearly works harder than anything else.
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
I'm going to go ahead and refrain from sexting you in an airport that is currently at a "level orange" security threat.
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