I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
my dad wants uyo to call him right now...reverse drunk dialing
I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
i have a girlfriend
if you're drunk do you have a girlfriend?
no
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
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