At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
You're the 8th person from last night to text me this morning and ask if I'm ok.
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
Good news. Hiccups are gone. Bad news. I had to set the bathroom rug on fire to get rid of them. Don't come home until the fire truck leaves.
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
Randomize
