i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
You know you're stoned when you tell your dog you're stoned only to realise he's not in the pickup
Some nights you do cocaine till 5:00 in the morning, and the next night you teach yourself how to crochet. It’s called balance.
Randomize
