Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
Note to Self: No matter how horny, turned on or in the moment you are, never go down on your gf after she had soccer practice.
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
Randomize
