U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
Why are you ignoring all of my texts?
The power was out.
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
This hobo said he can't buy alcohol bc he got in trouble bc a girl sat on his face when he was passed out and misaligned his spine and gave him Alzheimer's so Ali is buying him a bottle. This is Vegas.
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
Randomize
