omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
She told me she gets scared easily and that I had to protect her. Then I made a condom joke that ended up making her cry... All bad dude
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
Randomize
