If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
How's the hangover?
I've been begging my dog to mercy kill me for over an hour. He has this look like he might do it, you know, as my best friend should.
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
Randomize
