Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
Randomize
