Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
Just drug him and when he wakes up say "You just woke up from a coma, we've been married for 5 years." It'll be like The Vow but fucked up.
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
you sternly forced jackson to start preheating the oven around midnight so you could make bagels in the morning
you were serious about those bagels
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
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