it's too hot outside to masturbate.
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
i just snorted my name. best moment ever
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
Just woke up from a first date on the futon watching Arrested Development by myself, him cuddling another chick in his room. Simultaneously the best and worst one night stand in history.
Bonus: took me 2 hours to get home on the streetcar cause I spent my cab money on drinks for his friend last night.
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
At what point can I admit that I hate going to house parties?
I don't wanna stand in your shitty kitchen making small talk while I guard the quality booze I brought.
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
Randomize
