I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
It is 3am. I'm at a pizzeria with my 4 friends. The one to my right is throwing up on herself, the one to my left is crying hysterically by herself, the one in front of me is passed out on the table, and the other is trying to find a taxi and I'm pretty sure a guy is sticking his hand up her skirt. Tourists are taking pictures. Help me.
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
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we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
I tried to high-five the cop last night. he just looked at my raised hand and told me to go to bed.
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
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I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
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