I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
I want to frame my negative pregnancy test.
Seriously. My exes act like they own shares of my vagina.
Well, in their defense, they have invested a lot of time and money
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
Randomize
