well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
I'm sitting alone in a bar pretending to watch football because I don't know where the liquor store is around here and I'll be god damned I'm going to be sober on my day off.
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
Randomize
