Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
I was walking around outside with a basket of eggs. I feel like little house on the prairie: hungover edition.
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
Hey do you care to explain why there are 3 empty pickle jars next to me when I woke up or do I even wanna know?
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
Randomize
