I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
Im partying with a unicorn. You don't even know.
you wouldn't come out from under your bed because you said there were six-armed bears everywhere.
ohhh that explains the pepperonis I found in my sock drawer this morning...
no it doesn't.
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
just woke up in my car, in front of the bar. Took me 10 minutes to find my keys which were about 10 yards away in a bush. According to my phone records, I called my ex 14 times last night. Breakfast?
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
Randomize
