I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
Woke up with 5 texts apologizing from a number I named "guy who elbowed me in face"
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
Randomize
