I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
You couldn't remember her number so you tried to dial her name into your phone. Once you realized you didn't know her name, you dialed 7 random numbers
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
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the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
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